I take pride in the fact that I have many friends. That being said, I didn't always have a ton of friends. Thanks to getting into theatre, however, I learned how to open up to people and in time developed friends so close that the only suitable name to call them now is family. I have a few friends that are closer than others and I believe that for them, our friendships were forged in flames.
What do I mean? I'm so glad you asked!
I think the strongest relationships I have had with my friends have gone through some storms. Not as many as you might think, but one good storm that would make someone question how the hell we remained friends. Perhaps, in time, I will share those other stories, but for now I want to share the story of the storm weathered by myself and my good friend, Steven.
I met Steven in college my Freshmen year. Right off the back, I thought he was the weirdest person in the world. However, being in theatre, I'm used to dealing with strange individuals. One thing I remember about Steven back then was that he was very opinionated. I always equated this to the fact that Steven was home schooled for most of his life. Now, Steven lived on the same floor as my roommate Sam and myself. Sam was the reason we even knew the other existed in the first place as he introduced us.
For the longest time during those first few months of college, you would always find Sam, Steven and myself walking around the campus or eating in the cafeteria together. You may have also seen a young boy and girl walking with us too, named Corey and Cami (respectively). I was still trying to find myself in college and figure out what type of friends I wanted to associate with. These four seemed to act the most like my old theatre friends so there was no question as to whether or not I should hang out with them. We were all very close with one another and, as most friends do, we learned much about each others private lives. No to go into too much detail, but Cami was having troubles with her boyfriend. We all thought she was making the wrong decision by not moving on, but I was going through a partial "let everyone handle their own affairs"-phase of my life.
Little did I know that the Black Daddy Era would soon take effect.
I've always been a bit of a protector to my female friends. I like to think that people know that if a female friend of mine is being harassed, I will most likely be there to:
"Boots 2 Asses"- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Never has that fact been more true than in this particular moment with Steven. I was not there when Steven was being an "ass." I was in my dorm room in what I affectionately call: "Lawless Lawton." It was Sam who informed me what happened. He came in from the cold shaking his head in disbelief. I was ironing clothes that I had just washed.
"What's wrong, Sam?" I asked.
"You would not believe the craziness that just happened!" he cried. "Steven made Cami cry!"
Immediately I was hooked. Steven made Cami cry? I knew that he openly disliked that Cami was still in love with her ex, but to make her cry? This seemed a little extreme, even for Steven. I needed more information to which Sam faithfully relayed to me. Steven, Cami, Sam and Corey were eating dinner in the cafeteria. Everything was going well when Cami started talking about her boyfriend (a habit she had developed at every meal). Steven, who apparently had enough of these talks, told Cami that she needed to get over her boyfriend and that she was too good for him. He tried explaining that she wasn't doing anyone any favors by continuing to talk about him and that she was driving everyone crazy with all her talk.
Like I said. Steven's very opinionated.
Well, needless to say that Cami didn't take too kindly to this talk and began to cry. Steven, not being used to this type of stuff, ran away from the table where Cami began to complain about Steven. How mean he was, how insensitive he was being and, most importantly, how weird he was.
When Sam finished his story I had a strong desire to right this wrong (regardless if I knew the FULL story or not).
Thus, the Black Daddy persona was created. I threw on my leather jacket, turned off my iron and darted out of the room to find Steven. Steven didn't leave his room often except at night when he would walk around the campus so I knew he would be home. Sam followed behind me, anxious to see what would happen to his two friends. I arrived in his hall and heard the soft clicking of computer keys.
I knew he was there.
I banged on the door, preparing myself for what would come next.
Would I fight him? What would I say to him? I needed confirmation first before I did anything drastic.
I knocked on the door again and this time, he answered. The door cracked open just a little bit so he could see who it was fully. When he realized it was Sam and I, he smiled and simply said "Evening, gents!"
In that moment all I could think about was how weird he was and how SOMEONE needed to shut him up. I felt like "The Bride" from Kill Bill seeing her first victim in Vol. 1.
And just like Uma Thurman, I pounced. In a blur, I lifted my leg and kicked his door in.
Yup. You read that correctly. I legitimately kicked his door in and sent him reeling backward. Steven was momentarily stunned, but laughed it off not realizing my annoyance with him.
"What did you say to Cami?!" I exclaimed.
Steven scoffed. "Don't talk to ME about Cami!" Now, in my defense, he should not have opened with that. To me, he seemed guilty as hell. If he was trying to help Cami, he could have told me exactly what he said and defused the situation. Instead, Steven unintentionally antagonized the situation and myself.
Steven, took a deep breath. "Now, care to sit down?"
"You sit down!" I exclaimed. He sat.
For the next ten minutes I laid into him about how he had no right to make Cami cry and how that for the duration of our time at Anderson, he was to have no words for Cami concerning her boyfriend. When I was done yelling at him, I took my leave and slammed the door behind me to let him think about what he had done.
I felt good and empowered. At the time, I didn't care if Steven liked me or not. I told him off and the honor of a young woman had been restored. In the following months, Cami later renewed her relationship with her ex and dropped out of school. My friendship with Corey slowly dissolved and Steven and I's relationship had become one of constant bickering and resentment towards one another. It wasn't until Sophomore year that Steven and I slowly became friends. REAL friends and not just acquaintances. We both were drafted by the theatre department that year and began our new journey as Double Majors. The year after that, we were cast as father and son in the drama All My Sons by Arthur Miller where we learned that when he and I are onstage with one another there is a certain level of theatrical magic that hypnotizes audiences and makes he and I both realize why we did theatre in the first place. He is truly my brother and through the years we have had each other's back even to this day. He even made me the Best Man at his wedding! I had never been prouder to stand by him as he committed his life to the girl of his dreams.
As I close, I want you to appreciate those days when you and your friends do not always get along. It is those times when you and your friends really decide if you are to remain together. If your friendship is worth it, you will make it through the storm and be stronger than ever. And when you do make it through, you'll realize that the person you call friend is not just your friend.
They are your brother. Your sister. Your family.
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