Sorry for Party Rocking!

Have you ever been in love? To have someone you truly cherish, care about and would do anything for? I certainly know what that is like. When I was in college, I was in love with a girl named Crystal. Now, when I say I was head over heels for this girl, I mean it! She could honestly do NO wrong in my eyes. Sure, she had plenty of flaws, but she was the love of my life! Hell, we were even going to get married. However, the beginning of the end happened while I was away on tour.

No, not the military. I mean a tour with an acting company known as the National Players: America's Longest Running touring company. Being a guy in Anderson University's theatre department meant one thing: you were almost always in a play. Just because you were a guy, however, didn't always mean you were guaranteed a lead role. Still, the faculty saw something in me and I was cast several times in either a lead role or supporting role. I thank God for those opportunities and all glory goes to him for those performances.

Unfortunately, Crystal never saw it like that. Crystal was always jealous because of my impressive resume which was only ever impressive because of my gender... NOT my talent onstage. This rubbed me the wrong way, but we worked through those fights. Me being on tour did not help in the slightest. Crystal grew jealous of my stories and as a result, we did not talk as much while I was away.

This forced me to turn my attention to achieving meaningful relationships with my cast-mates. Ironically, one other tour-mate was going through something similar. Chad wanted nothing to do with most of the people on tour, but soon Chad began to warm up to a few key members of the tour known as 306 (remember those factions I talked about in my last post? We're back!).

We spent most of our days making sure we all hung out together and had quite a number of adventures while we traveled the country. Chad and I had grown close when he accompanied me on my birthday to Chili's where I enjoyed a huge burger and an even bigger margarita in Boston. It was then that we realized how much we had in common. Like me, Chad had a younger girlfriend who was still in school. Just like me, Chad was constantly receiving word from his alma mater that his girlfriend was cheating on him. I sympathized heavily with Chad.

How could I not? To me, if Chad's girlfriend truly was cheating on him, who was to say Crystal was not doing the same? Especially when I noticed just how similar Chad and I truly were.

Well, around the second leg of tour, we learned that Chad had broken up with his girlfriend while in the car on our way to a new venue. He was devastated. Even though he never said it, you could see it on the poor guy's face. This girl had hurt him and broken his heart.

Chad had looked out for me when I was having a potentially bad birthday. It was my turn to return the favor. I approached Chad while he was telling us all about the rumors he had heard about her and proceeded to do what I do best: cheer up my friends by being as belligerent as hell.

"Oh hell naw, Chad!" I exclaimed. "We need to be beatin' their asses right now! Right NOW! She just gonna turn around and cheat on you after she tried to make you look like a fool and say she WASN'T!? Naw, son! I don't play that! I'll go to where she at right now and be like.... "'Ey Girl! Come here!..... Naw, naw, naw.... Shut up for a minute.... You disrespect my man's like that?....Buh, buh, buh....why you stutterin'?! You wasn't stutterin' when you tried to play him! Real talk...you 'bout to get superman punched, Roman Reigns style!....What's this?.....This yo new man?.....Come here playboy!....Naw, don't be scared, come here.... Dis ya man?.... Girl, did I stutter? I asked if dis yo new man!.... You 'bout to get drop kicked too, playa....BOTH OF YA'LL!"

This continued for a good twenty minutes. I think Chad appreciated it. Here was this guy who didn't really know him until a few months ago and yet I was ready to help Chad right this wrong. Of course, I would never get a chance to do so.... or would I?

Flash forward to a few months later after a crazy week in New Orleans. Chad and I had solidified our friendship and he had invited me with him to Macomb, Illinois. He assured me that this was going to be a boring trip, but it would at least give me my own bed for a few days. We were joined at the last minute by another friend of mine from tour, Mr. Pettey.

(Left to Right) Chad, Pettey, Me

Pettey was.... an interesting fellow to say the least. To be honest, I owe it to him for helping to craft my "Mr. Salley" persona for my students to a degree. We were all excited to go to Macomb since we all seemed to just click with one another. Pettey was so excited about being with us that, "This is a good group!" became one of our many battle cry's for the weekend.

We arrived in Macomb pretty late that evening, but still made it in time for Chad to participate in a cancer walk (the true reason for the trip). Pettey and I stayed together since we were the outsiders at this college, but we were soon introduced to many of Chad's friends...including Chad's ex (Who we'll name Olivia).

I could barely contain my happiness! She looked incredibly uncomfortable around Chad, his friends who clearly knew all about how she treated him and the grinning negro who laughed like a hyena as soon as she left. Pettey also seemed to relish in this as we began contemplating how we should confront her. Chad did not add to our plans, but he did not discourage them either.

We learned later that we were going to stay with some of Chad's theatre student friends in a house about a mile away from campus. It was a nice place and we were thankful for having a place to sleep that we did NOT have to share beds with someone. The next day was pretty uneventful. We went out to eat at a delicious restaurant that many college students frequented and then I spent most of the time in the hospital (New Orleans had not been kind to me...).

When we met up again, we returned to the house to see the most beautiful sight in the world: Beautiful Coeds! Sadly, I do not have a picture for you, but when we opened the door, it looked something like this:

There were about 10 or so Woo Girls in this house all drinking and getting ready to head out to a dance club.

Pettey, myself and Chad all stood in the doorway with our jaws on the floor. I should say that being on tour with 80% males is a lot like being out at sea. When you get to take shore leave, there are some things you are reminded of that you miss... A LOT! Now, don't get me wrong! I found them all extremely attractive, but I was not in the business of cheating!

In truth, I love to dance. Just getting the chance to dance with even one of them would have been enough for me. They, of course, invited us and we accepted.

Our night had gone from good to great, but it was far from over. You see, we returned from the club ready to continue the party. Everyone was drunk from the club except me and THAT  is where our story reaches its climax.

The girl's had all decided to spend the night and sit around to talk. We were joined by a few other theatre guys who had already picked which Woo Girl they were going to take home, but their night was about to take a drastic turn.

One gentleman in particular was "friends" with the guy (let's call him...Hank) who Chad's ex had been seeing and was currently dating. I say "friends" because no one seemed to like Hank for what he and Olivia had done to Chad.

Admittedly, I did egg the guy on to tell more stories about what happened than what was necessary. But I couldn't help it! Chad needed closure and I know (especially now) that the only way he was going to get it was by confronting the truth of what happened.

I won't tell you virbatum what the guy said, but here are the highlights:

• Hank and Olivia would laugh about Chad being clueless about their affair
• Hank would brag about all the things he and Olivia would do together. 
• Olivia stopped talking to several people in the theatre department and vice-versa AFTER the breakup
• Hank and Olivia spent most of their time together since no one liked them any more

As Chad listened, you could tell he was getting heated as he nursed his beer. I, being sober, MAY have antagonized the situation. Especially when I learned that Olivia stayed in an apartment about a block away!

"We need to be beatin' his @$$ right NOW, Chad!" I exclaimed. This continued for several minutes before Chad jumped out of his seat and ran out the backdoor. 

Everyone realized that, like Flo Rida, it was going down for real!


I followed behind chanting "Boots 2 Asses!" ala The Rock.

Behind me, the guy who provided the information jumped around yelling "Get some!" Behind HIM, were a bevvy of drunk college girls who giggled and yelled "OMG!" 

It was the most eclectic parade of misfits one would ever see. When we reached the apartment, Chad went right for the door, beer still in hand. The guy, who had moved passed me, exclaimed, "It's his car! He's here!" 

Great scott! Were we actually going to do this?

However, fate intervened and kept us from entering the apartment building since you needed to be buzzed in. Chad and the others contemplated calling her out and buzzing her apartment until we heard the door unlock as someone buzzed us in! 

Above us, a drunk bearded man had seen this strange menagerie of weirdos and let us in for justice. We entered the premises and before Chad could knock I stopped him.

I know what you're thinking. Surely, I could tell them I had caused a lot of this to spin out of control and that I needed to put a stop to it before we actually did layeth the smackdown on Hank's candy ass. 

You would be wrong.

"Chad, wait!" I whispered. "She doesn't know me! Let ME knock and she'll answer the door!" Chad's beer and rage addled brain saw wisdom in this and let me proceed. I knocked.

Knock, Knock!

No Answer.

Knock, Knock! 

No Answer.

I tried one more time and suddenly there was Olivia standing in a tank top and shorts, clearly just getting out of bed. Time seemed to freeze as this tiny white girl stared at this black guy who had been banging on her door at 2 AM. 

"Hi!" I said. "Uhm....soo...." But Chad made the save by pushing into the apartment. 

"We need to talk!" he slurred. He began to point at many items. "This is mine! This is mine! This is mine! And where is that b#%$&!?" I could see that he had made his way to Olivia's bedroom where Hank was apparently sleeping! 

The last I heard from Chad was him repeatedly saying, "Get up!" to Hank as Olivia closed the door. The girls were now surrounding me as we all pressed our ears to the door to at least HEAR the apocalypse happening within. 

Chad proved he was not as drunk as we thought as he coherently told her off for all the horrible things she had said to him and how much he cared for her. It was beautiful. Chad was getting to do something that not everyone in this world gets to do if they don't go on the Maury Povich show. 

He was getting closure. 

We listened as Chad warned Hank that she may do the same to him and how she told Chad that "Hank was weird and creepy and stalking" her! 

It was deadly quiet after that.

"Listen," said Chad. "You probably think I'm a drunk a-hole right now..." he took a drink. "And I am! But you need to listen to me...You wanna hit me tough guy?" Chad asked. "Go right ahead! Because I have twenty people out there ready to kick your a$$ and one of them doesn't even KNOW you!" My heart sank.

I was going to be locked up in a Macomb jail over this! Still, my boy needed my help and I am very much a ride or die friend. 

"Dude," said Hank. "Just...get out of here!"

Chad finished his beer. "Whatever!" he said as he slammed it on the counter. "Peace $^@#$&!" Chad tried to open the door, which had been unknowingly locked by Olivia. What was supposed to be a cool exit, ended up being a little anticlimactic, but it didn't matter to Chad... he had said his peace and now he could move on.

I was proud of Chad. And after that day, Chad and I's friendship had solidified. In a time when he really needed a friend, I was proud to step up and be that person. To this day, we are still friends/frenemies.

Part of me wished that I had a Chad to help me with closure when I learned that Crystal had been cheating on me (a story that I'm sure I will share with you...one day). Maybe I knew it would never come and so I was living vicariously through Chad. Either way, I am glad to have helped him. As Chad, myself and the others left the apartment and as we walked back to the theatre house we began to reflect on the events of the night and as one we proclaimed what would become the battle cry of the entire weekend and every future drunken night:

Sanctus Dominus....Hawkins Watch!

I take pride in the fact that I have been a member of many groups/factions/stables. Since I was a child, I helped form many "gangs" as we used to call them.

THE Gang
The Crew
The Boys
The Jobless Crew
The Four Horseman

Clearly you can figure out that these groups weren't SUPER intimidating. Most of us were nerds who just enjoyed talking about pop culture and video games. One of the last groups I was a member of was in college. There were several groups around the campus, but I helped establish a group known as The Council.

Pretty badass right? Well, once again it was made up of a very diverse group of people who one might classify as nerds. The group came together during my year as an R.A. (which I'm sure you'll hear war stories from those days as well). One of my best friends, Ryan, was an R.A. on the third floor of Lawless Lawton (the place we would call home for two years). I was the R.A. of the first floor with my suitemates: Jonesy, John and my roommate Sam (codename: Samwise). Samwise, Jonesy and Ryan made up the founding members of The Council. Steven would join later as a refugee from Stringer Commons (yet another tale that will no doubt need to be told). We formed as a means to help each other out during times of great distress. Whether it was women, school or life in general, when a Council member called for a meeting, you answered. Even today, if any one of my brothers in arms was in need, I would immediately stop what I was doing and make sure they were ok.

This story is one of those times....

Going to school in the South meant that you had to deal with certain harsh realities. As the philosopher Kanye West once said, "Racism's still alive, they just keep concealing it." Even at a Christian school. This was especially true when it came to interracial dating. It was pretty much unheard of at Anderson unless you were a basketball player and you were a basketball player's groupie trying to make her dad angry. However, this story includes one of the few exceptions to the rule...sort of.

Prior to Sophomore year, Ryan dated a girl who will be named "Becky" Hawkins for the duration of this story. Becky was a nice girl. I thought she was pretty cute due to her red hair (my kryptonite, admittedly) and I thought she was a cool since she dated my friend Ryan. However, after a year together, the two broke up for reasons I can't fully remember. Don't worry though! You only need to know Becky's existence and her connection to Ryan for this story!

Fast forward to a year later and Jonesy is in my dorm room, as he was want to do back then, and was telling us about his new girlfriend... Becky's sister, "Susan". Susan, Becky's twin sister, to me was the more attractive of the two (she also had a redder shade of hair...that might have played a factor). Susan seemed to make Jonesy happy, which was great since we had always wanted Jones to meet someone who could make him happy. I did not know much about Susan, though, since she lived at home about 30 or 40 minutes from campus. My first encounter with Susan was when Jones brought her over for what is known as RSVP on Anderson's campus.

What's RSVP, you may be asking? Well... RSVP is the designated time that girls could be in guy's rooms and vice versa from 6-10:30 or 11 (depending on your dorm) every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. I was not working RSVP by checking girls into the dorms, but as an R.A. in the exclusive R.A. suite, I was alerted when Jones brought a girl into his room. The two sat around on his bed watching movies (Superbad!) and listening to Jonesy's music collection.

It was a pretty nice date and one that Sam and I talked about all night. There were a few times I had to tell Jones to leave his door open a little more, but he was very obliging which was strange because I knew what he wanted...

Now, you may remember that I mentioned the name of John who also stayed in our suite. Well, John worked at the local Gamestop and wouldn't be home until RSVP ended. I guess John must have gotten off early since he interrupted Jonesy's date. The two had a strange relationship. They seemed to like each other, but some days were a little too much for the other. John came to our room to vent about Jones being in their room with the girl. Apparently, Jones...requested that John come back later after his date was finished.

Sam and I found the whole situation hilarious, but we didn't John know. He needed a sympathetic ear and not one that was going to antagonize him. John decided he had enough so he left our room and approached Jones when Susan went to the bathroom which is where Sam and I heard the funniest conversation ever.

"Hey Jones. Are you almost done with this date of yours?" asked John.

"Yeah, man. We're almost done," said Jones. I could tell just from his voice that Jones was probably giving his patented glare over his glasses.

"Alright, well...how much longer are you going to be because RSVP is almost over and she's not going to be able to stay in here." said John.

"Look man... you know how it is. I just need about... 20 more minutes."

"20 minutes!?" asked John. "Look Jones, I'm going to give you five minutes. Just take her to the bathroom, do your thing and get her out!"

I imagined Jonesy standing dumbfounded.

"Five minutes?!" he asked. "What am I supposed to do in five minutes, John?! Get my **** hard!?"

THAT'S when I lost it. I laughed so hard that I winded up on the ground crying. Sam was lying in his bed, equally as in tears. Jones poked his head out.

"Ayo Marc!" he said. "You hear dis $%&#!?"

Sam and I closed the door shortly after that. The week had ended and we were beyond tired.

Now, you're probably wondering how does The Council play into this. Well, about two weeks later, Jones and Susan broke up for reasons unknown. The Council was assembled for an emergency meeting because rumors were beginning to spread that Susan was possibly cheating on Jones. Jones, wanting to get to the bottom of this, called in the Council and his other faction, The B.O.A.R.D. (meaning: classified). Both factions worked tirelessly to get to the bottom of these rumors, but every time we did...a new bit of information would come about:

"Susan was dating Jones to make her dad angry at her!"

"Susan hated Jones because he was black!"

"Susan was dating a B.O.A.R.D. member!"

Each new rumor was discussed at nightly meetings we code named: Hawkins Watch! Every night, Jones would open the door chanting a strange latin chant: "SANCTUS DOMINUS! DOMINUS SANCTUS! SANCTUS ROMY RUSE! ROMY NOOSE SANCTUS!.....HAWKINS WATCH!"

Ryan was especially invested in this since he, by that time, HATED Becky and HATED Susan even more. Ryan and Jones took point on the Hawkins Watch affair, but I would find myself brought deep into the mix when I was walking home from class with Steven. We were going over a lesson we had just sat in on for an education class when who should be leaning over to talk than Becky. Becky and I had never really spoken to one another even when Ryan dated her, but here she was leaning over, touching my arm and clearly flirting with me!
"Oh Marcus! You're so funny! I don't understand why we've never hung out before?"

"I mean, I'm pretty busy with theatre nowadays." I just became a Double Major.

"Really? Are you in any shows? I'd love to see you in one... Maybe we could hang out after you're done with rehearsal one night?"

I laughed and said maybe before. I made a bee line for our suite with Steven following behind me as I sent a text saying:

"Sanctus Dominus.... Hawkins Watch Update! Council Meeting after dinner!"

She almost got me. Had she not needed to redye her hair red, I might have fallen into the honey pot. As it was, I was loyal to a fault. Ryan would never forgive me if he thought I was flirting with a girl he considered his arch nemesis!

After dinner, we sat down in Sam and I's room and I told everyone about what happened just outside. The boys agreed that she was indeed hitting on me, but the true question was...to what end? We began to theorize as if we were all descendants of Sherlock Holmes. For what reason would Becky, who had no ties to Jonesy, be after me? The answer: she wasn't. My thought: Becky was using me as a way to get back not just at Ryan...but at the entire Council.

Jones had let it slip to Susan of the Council's existence and she was, until their breakup, very interested in it's inner workings. It was at this time, that Jones revealed that Susan was trying to hook up with a few of the single members of The B.O.A.R.D.

It was incredible. We never thought it was connected since The Council and B.O.A.R.D. were separate entities. Yet here we were... looking at two tricky dames who were trying to bring down two of the most dominant factions on Anderson's campus!

We theorized what their end game must have been, but in truth we did not care. Our pride had been hurt. We had been compromised by our largest enemy.

S.H.I.E.L.D found its HYDRA.

The Justice League met the Legion of Doom

We never had anymore issues with the Hawkins girls. They had moved on and found boyfriends who would soon get engaged with them. Perhaps they were bored and wanted a bit of excitement. Perhaps they wanted to see if they could tear our friendships apart. What the Hawkins Twins failed to realize was that we became stronger as a team. We worked together, sought out our enemy and defended ourselves.

The Battle with the Hawkins Twins will forever go down as one of our fiercest battles and while you may hear more stories of The Council, nothing will ever compare to....

SANCTUS DOMINUS...DOMINUS SANCTUS...HAWKINS WATCH!!!